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[21 Dec 2005|09:00pm] |
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mood |
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things are looking up. Maybe losing sara was not such a bad thing it.
just opened another door. I'll explain more when I know for sure
hope everyone has a great christmas.
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[15 Dec 2005|11:52am] |
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mood |
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 hmm |
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So yea Sara broke up with me last monday. And now she just wants to be friends. Which I guess is cool. So now I have to find someone else. Oh well.So I get to leave at 1:30. Cat is coming over for a while this afternoon after I get out of school which is something to look forward too. There has been alot of stuff to think about lately. Maybe some of it will work out.
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[23 May 2005|02:54pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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Yea so I'm really quite bored. Sitting in journalism and there is absolutely nothing to do except update my journal. Lets see this weekend went really fast. Went and saw Star Wars on sunday and it was better than Attack of the clones. That was pretty much it for the weekend. Had to be to school at 8:00 am this morning for some awards thing. All I did was Letter in academics. Four days left of school which means 184 days till I graduate and off to college.Exciting right. Most of my friends graduated this year. Oh well thats it I can't wait for summer.
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| Today in My life |
[26 Mar 2005|09:14am] |
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mood |
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good |
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music |
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Transplants |
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Yahoo the pageant is today. Shanes coming to pick me up about quarter to five so we can go run sound and lights check. I was going through all my clothes this morning and realized I didn't have a shirt that would fit so I've already made the last minute run and its not last minute. Which is unusual for me.Any who I have to do my laundry and get all my stuff together. I'm really hoping nothing goes wrong with the lights or sound like it di for blithe spirit. We lost an entire circuit of lights fifteen minutes before house on opening night that was not cool.We worked through it though.So I"m sure me and shane can figure it out. I hope liz makes it to the top twelve that be cool nd good luck to the rest of the people in it that I know. Anyways I have to be there at five and who knows when I'll get to leave but hey its something to do. Its been pretty entertaining watching the rehearsals and stuff so thats cool. We finally figured out why the mics were feeding back. Somebody was running them back through the moniters so everything was feeding back which sounds horrible but we got all that worked out last night. So thats it for today.
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| people |
[12 Mar 2005|05:40pm] |
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mood |
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 aaaarrrgh |
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Some people are so infurating. They talk about how you are all talk and no play. Like they want you to do something about it but then you don't know what you can and can't do. You don't know the rules and you just so frustrated you could scream. Which is pretty much the space where I'm at right now. I mean its nice not being like attached but you know having that person around. But you don't know the rules like I said. You have no idea how frustrating it is to sit there and wanna do something but not know the rules of engagement so to speak.There are two problems here a) You don't know the rules or b) circumstances make it impossible to do anything.I for one would just like to know the rules before i lose my god damned mind.
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| i give |
[11 Feb 2005|06:32pm] |
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mood |
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 numb |
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I give up. I finally got the nerve to call the girl and talk to her. She says she wants to get to know me better. Right that probably means I don't like you to begin with. Then I had to go. I thought well maybe if she wanted to get to know me better I'd take her to a movie or something. So I tried to call her back and they were eating. So she says she will call me back. Yeah right like thats ever gonna happen. So I officialy give up. Its not even worth trying anymore. You know all it does is create trouble so forget about it.I just have to learn that no matter what I do I'm not going to ever find anyone simple as that. I've tried my hardest but failed repeatedly. Thats how its always going to be so you know I have to deal with it. I guess I was just meant to be by myself.
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| ahhh |
[09 Feb 2005|07:01pm] |
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mood |
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frustrated |
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Dude I am going to lose my bloody mind before this shit is over. I mean from what i gather she flirts with me as much as i do with her. The thing is though i just want to get the nerve up and tell her i like her but i just can't seem too. Its extremely frustrating. I mean lately shes about the only thing thats been on my mind. It is going to give me an ulcer if i keep worrying about this crap but its all i can think about which ain't doing me a lot of good. I'm so confused and all i really want is to figure out whats going on.I just don't know if its worth it sometimes. All life seems to be is one big drama after another. Which seems kinda pointless but thats all that it is.I tink people enjoy inflicting torture upon themselves. Which why anyone would purposefully want to create drama in their life.Unless perhaps your life is the most boring cesspool of crap to ever be dreamed up. And if thats the case i am truly sorry and hope you do get a little drama in your life. Its just i really like this girl and i don't want this crap to backfire. Which seems to have a tendency to happen to me alot. So you can see why i am so hesitant to do anything about this at all. But i've never actually liked a girl this much.So its really challenging to make a decision. I'm just totally confused. I know we are only in highschool but you know its nice to care about someone and have them care about you too.It really doesn't matter how old you are. Thats all for now.
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| udpdate |
[08 Feb 2005|07:22pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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the living end- Whos gonna save us |
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Man life was actually half way decent today.I was hella tired all day though. It was one of those times you wish your head would just explode. Any way back on topic school ent by a lot faster today than I was planning on.That girl that I was all confused about is a little bit less confusing now. Let me try to explain. I thought she didn't like me b/c she told me thought I was annoying and she didn't like me so if you were me what would you think? You would think that person didn't like you right? Well apparentlu she is just undecided. My friend was talking to her during tech today and just kind of casually asked her what she thought of me. Well apparently she blushed and said that she was not sure.When there is blushing involved that can not be too bad. At least I hope so. Maybe this time everything will work out for once. One could only hope right.
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| girls are confusing |
[02 Feb 2005|07:53pm] |
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mood |
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irritated |
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Girls are the most confusing fucking people in the world. One day they are all like i hate you and go away the next they are all like you are cool i love to hang out with you. I mean come on you either like someone or you don't. There is only black or white theres no gray area. At least not as far as i'm concerned but you know the rules for life change every day so you have to adapt.But man come on can't they give you a break. you got to deal with shit every day. When you are a guy you don't want to have to try and figure out whats going through a girls head.But of course if you like a girl thats what you are going to do. Even if it creates a shitload of stress. Thats the way it works out in this world. Now my friend is mad at me b/c she misunderstood me and thinks that i am mad at her when i'm not so life is just grand right now. I seriously don't think anything go wrong. Its about as bad as it can get. But you know i've been wrong before so i'm not going to jinx myself. That would make life suck even more. But i'm used to that so i guess it really doesn't matter. I'm just a magnet for bad luck and stuff so i give up man this drama crap gets really old really fast. I mean no matter what i do i piss someone off at me. Man i can not do a damn thing right lately. Then i got all this girl shit to worry about. This stuff just stacks up and up. But there is absolutely nothing at all i can do about it so i try not to worry about it. These attempts to not worry about this stuff is really unsuccessful. Thats it for now.
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| well |
[01 Feb 2005|07:20pm] |
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mood |
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Yeah well i don't have to worry about liking that girl today b/c she told me she doesn't like me as a person. That pretty much shoots that whole plan to shit. But thats my life the my as i know and i have come to accept it.So i just gotta deal but thats really shitty.
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| ahhh |
[31 Jan 2005|06:53pm] |
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mood |
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frustrated |
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music |
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bright eyes- lover i don't have to love |
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That girl i've mentioned in my last couple of entries is starting to take a toll on my patience. I don't mean that the girl her self is wearing on my nerves but my lack of action is on my nerves. I think of all the things i could say or even do for that fact of a matter but i don't do them i just sit and get more and more annoyed with myself every day. When you've had a track record like mine though it makes you kind of wary of anything relationship related.Its not even to say that my problem is based on age thing either the fact that shes two years younger than me has absolutely nothing to do with any thing at all in this equation what so ever. It all has everything to do with track records and rejections and how things tend never to work out for the good in the end so i've never really had any good luck with girls so i really don't know what to do anymore. I'm very pensive about doing anything with girls because you know if you play with fire you tend to get burned and thats never any fun now is it? I should say not b/c who wants to get burned unless maybe you are a massacist or some shit like that which i most definitely not. Some of my friends are questionable though. Anyways i really like this girl and so on but i have absolutely nothing i can do about this situation about sit and stare and feel like a damn stalker. Which is a great feeling by the way if you've never had the pleasure of dealing with something like that. FYI that last line was just a complete crock of shit. I just wanna be like i like you and would you go out with me andall that happy horse shit. That however would only work out in a perfect world and unfortunately we don't live in a perfect world we live in a world and if i told a girl i liked her this would be her response to me "get away from me you freak i'd rather jump off a bridge" but such is my life as i've come to accept it. That doesn't mean i liked it though b/c i still wish icould do something about it.
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| awesome |
[19 Jan 2005|06:24pm] |
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My new Journal is the most fantastical freakin thing i have ever seen. Its Willy Wonka your friendly neighborhood freakshow. dude it would be the most awesome thing in the world if i could find a coat like his. I can't wait until the movie comes out it is going to be the best movie ever.
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| so true |
[10 Dec 2004|08:19pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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sugar cult |
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"She's The Blade"
Don't you make a move tonight
You can only stagger
Once shes got you in her sight
You're the one shes after
Shes the blade and you're just paper
You're afraid cause shes got closer
You're back-steppin and she's back-stabbing everything in your life
She stole everything your heart desired
Now you want it back
She stole everything your heart desired
Now you want it back
One by one you count the fights
Doesn't even matter
That shes got you by surprise
Misery's your master
Shes the blade and you're just paper
You're afraid cause shes got closer
Your back-steppin and shes out wrecking everything in your life
She stole everything your heart desired
Now you want it back
She stole everything your heart desired
Now you want it back
She stole everything
She controlled everything
She stole everything
She controlled everything
Shes the blade
Shes the blade
Shes the blade and you're the paper
Shes the blade and you're just...
Shes the blade and you're just paper
You're afraid cause shes got you closer
She stole everything your heart desired
Now you want it back
She stole everything your heart desired
Now you want it back
She stole everything
She controlled everything
She stole everything
And controlled everything
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| today |
[10 Dec 2004|07:33pm] |
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mood |
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smiles |
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music |
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the walkmen |
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today was a half way decent day. I may not have found a girl but maybe eventually. the comment megan m. left me yesterday made me feel a little bit better. shes a really nice girl. Tommorrow i'm going christmas shopping for my family and friends. so that will be kind of cool. i'm not looking to forward to finals but i doubt that any teenager is looking forward to those stupid things. Thats about it for today. I guess my life is not too eventful but it works out in the long run. I can't wait till christmas.
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